Many of my clients have come to me about trolls and the like, recently. They want to know how to deal with the way they feel when they’re criticised, and they’re struggling with the idea that they fully create every aspect of their own reality when it comes to emotion. I’ve written about that in this post, but I saw a great video by Marie Forleo about this exact topic today, so I thought I’d share her thoughts on the issue too.
She agrees that it’s unhelpful to ignore the fact that there’s an immediate – almost physical – pain when someone treats you badly, and has some great tips on how to view that and get past it.
Share your experiences in the comments below. Have you been bullied online before? How did it feel, and how did you handle it? Could you handle it differently going forward?
Here are a few things you need to know:
- If, after you’ve looked at what they’ve said, you realise that it is not true, and you can see an ulterior motive for their action, it may be that they’re not being ‘helpful’ in their criticism, but are actually bullying you. If so, realise that you don’t need to change their mind about you. What they’re saying is false, anyhow, and if they have an agenda, they’ll want to unsettle you. Far better just to cut them off. If you don’t know them, block them. If you do know them, give them some space to think about what they did, and just get on with your life.
- Abuse does not need to be part of your life. It is OK to cut relationships out of your life that are abusive. This is particularly the case with online relationships. It stuns me how many people remain connected to abusive people online. There’s no reason to do so. There are plenty of liars, scammers, bullies, and fakes online, so you’ll meet your fair share of those. They are not true leaders. Their form of leadership is to MISlead people. When you see their true colours, cut them off. However, there are also plenty of people online who have integrity, ethics, and a truthful heart. These are the people who will guide you to be your best self, rather than trying to tear you down. Criticism from this kind of person doesn’t hurt, unless you are too invested in your ego. Seek them out. Their suggestions will be honest, and will typically be delivered with suggested solutions. Consider their suggestions.
- Build a business for your fans, not your critics. Nobody is everyone’s cup of tea. If your intention is simply to avoid critics, you’ll never create anything worthwhile. Build what feels truthful and authentic to you, and listen to those who resonate with the message.
I hope this helps you. If you know anyone it may help, please share it.